Sex on the beach
The Italian naturists whose risqué escapades on the beach reached an unfortunate climax.
Just a few kilometers from Ravenna, famous for its UNESCO recognised Byzantine mosaics, lies Lido di Dante, a small beach on the blue-badged Ravenna coastline. This is the heart of the Po Delta, an area of unspoiled natural beauty. Not far down the shimmering Adriatic coastline lies Rimini, the notorious beach resort popular with young thrill-seeking Italians.
Lido di Dante has long been popular with naturists, and local law enforcement agencies have generally taken an enlightened approach to a form of exhibitionism that would otherwise be frowned upon on your typical Italian beachfront.
After years of controversy, and the occasional unsavoury incident or two, the authorities in Ravenna recently approved a local ordinance that enshrined Lido di Dante’s status as a nudist beach. Announcing the launch of the new regulations earlier this year, Mayor Michele de Pascale and Councilor for Tourism Giacomo Costantini declared:
“We are pleased to finally be able to give a structured response to naturist tourism by establishing one of the first official areas in Italy for the 2020 season. The journey was complex from a regulatory perspective and required considerable institutional collaboration: we agreed on the different steps with the Region and the regional councillor for Tourism Andrea Corsini, the Police Department for Punta Biodiversity Marina and the Po Delta Park, to whom we are grateful. It is in fact an area of great naturalistic and environmental value, rich in conservation areas, for which the order has a dual purpose: on the one hand to make available for this form of tourism which is expanding rapidly one of the beaches of our beautiful coast; on the other, to regulate its use by avoiding episodes unrelated to the bathing experience and in total respect for the natural value of these wonderful places”.
All of that, of course, is just a very long winded way of saying — feel free to come and get your kit off!
Meanwhile, the recent lockdown has been applied more rigorously in Italy than in many other European countries, and Italians have accepted stricter social distancing and greater personal hygiene interventions than exist in most other neighbouring destinations.
Even the famed beaches of the peninsula have been compelled to introduce stringent measures to comply with the raft of government decrees. The nudist beach at Lido di Dante is no exception. Amongst the tranche of rules visiting naturists are required to observe, the following are particularly pertinent to the current case:
1. Always avoid close contact by keeping the distance of at least 1 meter.
2. Avoid any type of gathering.
3. In crowded places, where it is not possible to keep a distance of at least 1 meter, cover your mouth and nose with a mask…
[4]…
Well, you get the idea.
In recent weeks overcrowding has become an issue at Lido di Dante as, post-lockdown, free-spirited Italians have flocked to the beach in an exuberant outpouring of exhibitionism.
And last Saturday afternoon things reached a shuddering climax, as one amorous pair of naturists took things a step too far.
According to one rather modest account of the incident, the two exchanged “heavy effusions”.
Now, I’m not even sure what an effusion is and, to the best of my knowledge, I’ve never exchanged one on a beach. Certainly not a heavy one. So, in the interests of clarity, I went in search of a more intimate account of what went on here last Saturday.
It didn’t take long to find what I was looking for.
The couple, it transpires, were in fact engaged in a serious bout of unabashed 69ing.
Right in the middle of the crowded beach!
Like some kind of Venetian street performance, a small crowd had gathered around the felatiating couple. Some spectators, taking matters into their own hands, even engaged in their own display of communal self-gratification.
But not everyone approved of this gratuitous display of public intimacy. One affronted bather politely interupted proceedings to reprimand the fornicating couple.
Not easily distracted from his earnest endeavours, the versatile Neapolitan paused for just long enough to explain that sexual activity was permitted on the beach and that, as he was breaking no law, he would not be detracted from his current enterprise.
Unfortunately the climax came sooner than he would have liked.
Alerted by outraged bathers, local law enforcement officers were soon on the scene. The long arm of the law was about to make a dramatic intervention.
For the couple in question, there was no moment of post-coital, water-lapping, From Here to Eternity-esque bliss to savour. The unamused carabinieri quickly slapped them with a €10,000 fine. Each. Afterall, it takes two to, well, 69.
So, while Italy may be a tolerant enough place that accepts a modest degree of nudity in certain clearly demarcated situations, if the heat and the wine and the sea leave you with the overwhelming urge to indulge, do yourself a favour, get a room!
